Take the treadmill right next to me. I dare you.
You're either using a workout machine, or you're on your phone — but you CAN'T be doing both.
You're taking up valuable real estate and we're pretty sure Instagram can wait until your workout is over.
Don't choose the cardio machine right next to someone if there are a BILLION others open.
Are all the others invisible? Just wondering.
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Leave the form-correcting and the coaching to the gym staff, seriously.
I don't remember paying for a personal trainer, but thanks.
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And using a towel is nonnegotiable.
It's not a sweaty free-for-all out here.
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Wipe down your area after using it.
I don't even want to work out in a pool of my own butt sweat, let alone yours.
The gym is not a pickup spot. No, really, let people work out in peace.
Look, if you really want to ask someone out, can you at least wait until they don't have dumbbells raised above their head?
And there's no congregating or taking phone calls in high-traffic areas.
I don't care about how annoying Sharon was at work today. I want the dumbbells you're standing in front of!
Don't hog all the plates and free weights that you need for your entire workout.
No, absolutely take them all. Nobody else wanted to work out. It's cool.
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And look, you actually need to put them back where they belong.
It's not rocket science.
There is absolutely NO PEEING in the gym showers.
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
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When you're getting water, take a few sips and bounce so you're not holding up the line.
If that's a problem, try using this thing called a water bottle.
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Checking yourself out and taking mirror selfies in front of someone who's in the middle of a set is NOT cool.
There are OTHER places for that. SO many other places.
If someone's stuff is on a bench, politely ask them if they're done before moving it.
Yes, there are people who like to ~claim~ their territory. But it's just common courtesy.
However, if that stuff has been sitting there for like 10 minutes, it's fair game, people.
Alright, time is up.
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If you go to the bathroom, wash your hands WITH SOAP before going back to hitting the weights.
Please, people. Please.
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And last but not least, let's try to keep the grunting, the screaming, and the weight dropping to a minimum.
Look, a little grunting can be necessary. But screaming and throwing around weights is a little extra.
Alright, lets go and make the workout world a better place!
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